Trauma Informed Pillar III: Peer Support

Many of us have heard the phrase ‘blood is thicker than water’.  Common interpretation indicates that blood relation is the strongest relation over all others.  At least, this has been my experience of the interpretation.  I recently ran across the original saying that shifted the meaning and interpretation for me.  The original saying is ‘The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’.  The shift comes in the additional words that have been omitted throughout the repetition.  Those whom I make a commitment to, a bond with, a shared experience, a similar wounding are the ones that are relationships one chooses to be closer with, often over family.  In the ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families Program), this is often referred to as the family of choice. 

The woundings that we carry can lead to the message or idea that we are separated from our community, that in some way we are not to be part of the community or that we have to ‘prove’ our standing within the community.  The healing process can also feel very isolating and lonely as the message that may come up is ‘nobody gets me’ or ‘others have more problems than I’ and these are the messages that get in the way of having community support.

We are wounded in community, in relations and we are healed in community, relations.  The power of support allows us not be alone in our woundings, struggles, and pains.  Peer support allows others to see us and to help build resilience in our growth.  Peers, those whom we choose to put around us, have an influence in the healing.  We grow together and as much to the point we are willing to engage in vulnerability within our community. 

Our trauma experiences inherently can separate us from others, impact our trust in others, and keep our wounds hidden.  Trauma and other similar experiences drives us into isolation and impairing on the healing journey.  Peer support, in its best form, builds authenticity, accountability, interdependence, guidance, and support.  The strength is that the pain can be witness in a container whereas in trauma, the pain was not seen by others or even the self. 

Community – with unity.  With a covenant, a commitment, in unison to promote growth, healing, and wellness.  We cannot do it alone, try as we have or as we might.  It is a risk to have a commune, yet it is also the most essential parts of the journey.  And yes, some of us have trusted communities and gotten wounded.  This does not mean it is the end of the journey.  It is rather an invitation to keep looking, to keep building resilience in taking care of oneself. 

Welcome to the journey within yourself and within the container of healing.